Best flops ever by big mean Football menz!

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Kmango short film of the week!

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Creature Comforts in the Wild

Our job here at KMango is to provide the viewer with information that benefits life in general… So go out and get a Nalgene Flask!

Sure, we’ll review certain items for the best “Bang for Buck”, cool factor and all of that jazz. But every once in a while we come up with a no brainer.

Sit round the campfire, pass the swigs around and get your fade on with your buddies…

Highlights:

- It’s Nalgene, won’t transfer flavor from other “fluids” you fill it with and is around $7.00 at a Sports Chalet near you.

- Shot glass built into the cap

- Weighs less than metal flasks. Holds 10oz of the hard stuff.

- The fuzz onto you?  It looks like a giant cough syrup bottle.  “Occifer,  that’s my grandaddys cough srrrup right thurrr”

Expert Tip:

Fill with Glenlivet 18 year old Single Malt for maximum effective warming power.

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Golf Ball Compression

So, I started playing golf again after a ten year hiatus, and I still have the same dilemma now as I did back then: Do I buy the cheap golf balls or the more expensive balls? Ten years ago, because I ended up losing so many balls during a round of golf, I usually ended up buying the cheap balls. Now, my game has improved a bit, and I lose far less golf balls per round. So, why not buy the premium golf balls to get a little more distance out of my drives? I did a little research and found that a premium ball (usually a higher compression ball) would not benefit me. To get the benefit from a high compression ball (usually 100 compression), I would need to generate a swing speed close to that of Tiger Woods (or other pro golfers)! I don’t know about you, but the harder I swing the more erratic my shot. This usually translates into a heavy slice and a lost ball. For now, I’ll stick with the cheaper, lower compression golf balls.  The video above shows how much a golf ball will actually compress.  What are your thoughts on golf ball compression?

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How I Chose a Gun

gun case

Cheap padlocked case is all you need. Also, I need to make the bed before I take pictures next time.

gun lock

I have a padlock and cable lock. But the shells are in the case and ready to go. Also, that is a damn nice bedspread!

 
I started thinking about guns when I started thinking about having kids. I hadn’t thought much about protecting my family before then, but I soon realized that keeping a Maglight with dead batteries next to my bed wasn’t going to cut it. I never was much of a proponent for keeping a gun under your pillow, so you can wake up paranoid and start blasting up your house. Mostly I wanted it for WROL situations (like Katrina), but it does provide some confidence knowing that if I need it for other emergencies it is there.

I knew I wanted a long gun early in my search. It just seemed like common sense that they were safer. You can’t put it in your pocket, hide it in your backpack and take it to school, forget where you set it down. It is harder to shoot yourself with it, point it at someone accidentally, or mistake it for a toy. It is visible to an opponent, if it runs out of ammo or has a mechanical failure, at least you still have a large piece of metal to use as a melee weapon. I wouldn’t presume to say long guns can’t be dangerous, they just seem less dangerous than handguns to me.

So I looked at rifles and shotguns and quickly realized that the shotgun was best for defending my home. They are cheap, simple, and effective. You still have to aim them, but they do buy you a small margin of error. Buckshot is less likely to over-penetrate, especially walls because velocity is so much lower than rifle rounds. I’m not a fan of the retards that think racking the slide will scare the bad guys away, but I must admit, it does buy some cool factor. A pump shotgun is relatively inexpensive too, mine cost $280 on sale at Big 5.

I did some web research and decide to buy a Mossberg 500. I like the ambidextrous safety (I shoot left handed and my wife shoots right handed). It is easy to load rounds into the magazine tube as there is no plate guarding it and possibly pinching your finders. Mine came with an 18 inch smooth bore for home defense and a 28 inch vent rib for shooting clays. I suppose if Armageddon comes the long barrel could be handy for hunting birds too.

Since this all started with having kids and protecting my family I did think a lot about safety and storage. Everyone seemed glued to opposite sides the spectrum. Either they kept a loaded gun strapped to the side of their bed and “I don’t have kids so I don’t have to worry”, or they keep the gun in a safe in their garage with a trigger lock, cable lock, and the ammo is in the attic (in a lock box). I knew I had to keep the gun from become a risk to family and visitors, but I wasn’t ready to make it a 20 minute ordeal to get it out and ready to shoot.

Here is my current setup. I have a padlocked plastic case I got on the web for $22. The gun has a cable lock which keeps the action open and the gun unloadable while it is locked. I don’t have shells in the magazine tube. I didn’t want the spring just sitting with all that tension. Also I figure if a kid finds the keys and unlocks the gun, the first thing they will do is rack the slide for that cool sound, not realizing they just put a round in the chamber. The shells are right there in the box (Remington 00 buckshot, best pattern and price I could find). Picking a balance between safety and utility was important to me and I think my current setup works well for this.

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Lunch$ Box$

You're never going to amount to anything!

So I got a new lunch box.  Lunch boxes have come a long way.  It is quite voluminous, has a Microban liner to repel bacteria and is all insulating for hours on end. It is flexible, durable and probably can take a beating and keep on tickin.  How much will be worth in 30 years? CRAP.

That brings me to the next point.  Growing up I had many said lunchboxes,  tin-can type fragile boxes that conveniently made your sandwich / fruit cup the same temperature it is outside and maybe even spoil that PB&J in the 110+ plus weather I grew up in.  They were awesome though,  Gremlins, Star Wars, Scooby Doo among others.  Some are worth a $hit ton today.  Like this one on Ebay from the seventies , I mean throw me a bone here and tell me ahead of time a little metal box is going to be worth this much if you don’t use it / mess it up.  Damn EBAY moneymakin-warlock-assassin-cash-making-savants!

Oh well, at least the ones from my era are pretty much worthless.  So dragging it on the street and punting with the thermos back then doesn’t make me feel too bad.  Touche!

 

 

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.0001 Cent Cell Phone Tripod

OK, it’s a quick rig. But I needed one. And there one was. %100 Recyclable materials! Fits multiple phone models, and it is adjustable.  By the way it’s from the future,  where nothing but rubble and trash will be left on the planet!  ;)

 

 

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The Lobster Zone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lobster claw machine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You catch em’, we cook em’”. That’s the motto at a local sports grill where they house the greatest claw machine in the world.  It costs $2 per attempt, and the lobster is fresh and pretty decent size.  The claw is pretty sturdy, but just when you think you’re about to nab the bitch, it senses danger and wiggles its way out.  Dumb lobsters, who taught them how to think.

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Shake in, shake out…

Shaking work going in, work going out..

*WARNING* DO try this this at home!

By now everyone has seen Takeru Kobayashi the super Hot Dog eatin fellow. Sets multiple world records for eating 50+ Hot Dogs in a single sitting.  Yeah, him.

Whats his secret? The SHAKE. Every so often, he performs a shimmying, undulating shake of his upper body. Presumably to help speed along a very common process in the human body, Peristalsis or a wave of muscle contraction that occurs within the digestive tract.

I’ve applied my knowledge of this among other things that occur on the pearly white throne of Grondor. Use this same shake and you will spend half the time you normally spend on the pot. During a normal “movement” you are simply waiting for Peristalsis to complete its course. By speeding this process up you are in essence, “shakin it loose”.

Give it a shot! Noone will see you if you look like a complete jackhole sittin in some stall.

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Dream Big or Go Home

At an estimated $300+ mil for this Friday’s Mega Millions, lotto fever has once again struck many of us with dreams of “What if?”. Seeing how i’m destined to win the lotto, I figured it’s time to sit down and figure out what i’ll be spending my new found wealth on. Rather than shop around like poor people do, i’ll go to the source of all things awesome, Ebay. So here’s a few things over $200,000 i’ve found so far that’s caught my fancy:


http://cgi.ebay.com/Help-Brotha-Out-/170585229536?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item27b7ac08e0#ht_710wt_1141
Rich people love giving away money to appear important (Secret Millionare anyone?) and i’d be no exception. Sure there are plenty of charities to give to (Red Cross, Goodwill, etc), but everyone does that. Brotha’s need help too and why bother getting your name on a donor list when you can get yourself some sweet green styrofoam.


http://cgi.ebay.com/Heart-Rare-Collectible1-kind-Cheeto-Heart-Smiles-/200570041013?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2eb2e7f2b5#ht_1299wt_1141
The only thing that be sweeter would be a boba shaped like a heart in a ring box. Until then this will have to do. After all, nothing says i’m rich like some orange bling on your finger.


http://cgi.ebay.com/Complete-Traveling-Carnival-Sale-U-S-A-/260746042206?pt=Commercial&hash=item3cb5acdb5e#ht_500wt_1156
Who needs to pay $80 for a one day visit to Disney when you can have your own traveling carnival? The cotton candy, popcorn, grungy-squeaking-half broken down rides, are enough to get anyones undies in a bunch (or brown). Plus the writers here would provide excellent material for the freak show…


http://cgi.ebay.com/Natural-Coral-One-kind-unusual-Unique-Rare-/230596150200?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item35b09a03b8#ht_5500wt_1141
WOWOW! It’s as if Mother Nature left one of her naughties out after playtime. This one ball wonder would put all those other pieces of so called art to shame. Show me your Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and any other ninja turtle and i’ll tell you that bitch got nothing compared to King Triton’s manhood!

Fist full of coral

This is just a sample of the goodness i’d buy with my new wealth. I’d like to know what awesome things you would buy if you won the lotto (boba shops, Halloween costume truck fleet, poorly conceived documentaries?). Leave your ideas in the comment section below…and who knows, come Friday I may buy some of your ideas and tell you how great they turned out!

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